This picture was taken at the 2009 Syllamo's Revenge 50 mile mountain bike race. Every time I look at this photo there are 3 things that come to my mind:
1.) Damn that's a badass photo.
2.) Why didn't the company take their name off the image..since I paid for it?
3.) I didn't finish that race.
I missed the time cut-off at the last checkpoint by 4 minutes because I lacked mental toughness. Of course I was exhausted, but the REAL reason I didn't finish is because I stopped in the woods next to a group of other quitters to complain about how muddy the course was and blahblahblahblagh...
Basically I was being a big pussy.
When I got to that checkpoint and found out my race was over... I was elated. I actually laughed in some guy's face because he had beaten the cutoff and had to ride the last 16 miles. I was so happy to be done that I didn't even care that I hadn't finished.
Looking back now, I realize that I quit that race. I never actually said "I quit", but deep down I know I wanted to miss that last time cut-off. If I hadn't been "taking a break" in the woods feeling sorry for myself I would have finished, at least then I would have been able to say that I crossed the finish line.
- Every time I see that picture I'm reminded of a shamefully epic failure
- That failure is my motivation
- This year will be different
- I will not quit
- Fuck you Syllamo, fuck you big time